Im lonely…...:(

I miss an old friend. I hate when i miss him like this because everytime i try to stop talking to him, i start missing him and when we talk, he always raises my spirit. He is in town at the moment and he even came to work and kept me company and took me home after we closed. he is so sweet sometimes and i dont know why i push him away. Ok, i know why….he still thinks he has a chance with me. Thats impossible. He is a really good friend and he could be a better one if he stops talking about a relationship that happened 3 years ago and keep bringing up marriage and kids and stupid shit like that.

Im kinda having problems right now. Someone else who is also in town also wants to see me. I agreed to have dinner with him tomorrow evening cos his plane leaves on sunday morning. I dont miss him and he is old news but he is very good company and we have a LOT of fun together. Throughout today, i kept thinking about cancelling but whats the point. I havent hung out with any sensible person in a while.


Im really lonely right now and depressed too. i just want to go to work, school, stay home and just be by myself. I dont want to talk to 
anyone on the phone and i dont NEED anyone to comfort me or whatever. I dont want to be 
touched, smiled at or whatever. LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE.